The First Phone Call.

A Marine on guard duty, courtesy of Defence Images

The first phone call comes. It’s clear but distant. The voice is the same, it doesn’t sound like war. It sounds futile and far away. Our conversation is stilted. I think on each phrase and he struggles to match the distance with words. Nothing makes sense and as the dial tone reverberates I feel a sense of relief. Then guilt for the relief and then just relief. I think about what I am going to wear the next day and if it’s going to be sunny. I make a cup of coffee and watch something. I don’t remember what but as I do questions pop into my head. Questions I meant to ask and things I meant to say. I pick the phone up to call back. Shake my head and sigh, put the phone back down and wonder what that weight is in my chest. Heavy heart. Really heavy.