Greatest Monthly Turnoff

The chill of November makes one glad to have an even greater excuse to dive under the duvet and conjure up some artificial steam.

September is altogether a little dreary but there is the occasional hint of sun, a sparkly day and discount bikinis galore.

October is crispy and colourful and FRESH with a hint of Halloween (which I hate but I appreciate there is a lot of love for it out there).

Then comes November which has nothing going for it, bar the promise of some ad hoc warm up sessions. 

Think again ladies.  Consider impromptu solicitation a write-off.  One look at your fella or as it seems any fella and you’ll be scurrying for another jumper toot sweet!  There is grotesque upper lip catastrophes dancing all over the place.  I can’t seem to turn around for being bristled by some absurdly mismanaged facial apocalypse.  Men are both delusional and bombastic in their designs.  There is nothing left to say or do, the men have got us with the water tight adage “It is for charity”. 

Women we must take solace in the only thing left to our disposal:

As Calpol does for a cold, the RR does for Movember.

Or there is revenge, we could call it Muffember…